乱舞峰云

泰国行

记得去美国使馆面试时,面试官问我有没有去过国外,我对:”新加坡”,问:”那除了新加坡呢?”.答:”没了”.
继去了马来西亚之后我来到了出中国后的第三国,第四国以及接近第五国(四和五纯属名义).

泰国在去之前的印象:1.人妖之国; 2.军队满大街(军变比较多嘛); 3.每个人都像中国的傣族人
去了泰国之后的印象:1.类似中国; 2.小摊满大街(穷人比较多嘛); 3.每个人都像泰国的中国人

去了清迈和曼谷,个人比较喜欢前者.

感觉回到了威海,小城不大,清新干净
每个人都友善到极点,只要你对着他(或她)笑,就会收获同样一个微笑和一句”撒哇迪卡”
喜欢清迈,一度想像在飞机上遇到的美国人一样定居清迈,这一想法在下了廉价航班后清醒过来,毕竟还得为人生奋斗嘛,那地方太安逸了,会让人忘记很多斗志.

此行中另一收获就是对于人事的感悟:倔强并不永远是优点.

我喜欢到外国去旅游,但并不是为了她们的美景,因为单就美而言,没有什么国家可以跟我的祖国相比. 讲巍峨不能不言珠目朗玛;讲浩瀚不能不言塔克拉玛;讲清秀不能不言四川九寨;讲雄伟不能不言万理长城……

但是我想看的是不同的文化,所以我不去马尔代夫,不去Pukit岛,不去芭黎岛,这些奢侈的风景享受不适合我,我喜欢各国的文化名城,喜欢清新的小小古城,喜欢微笑的友善之城.

照片

  照片是我们常用的记录工具,但是我在回想去清迈的旅程时发现照片记录的只是简单的一闪,而真正的东西是留在脑海里的.
  于是我想在文字里寻找美,然而在我尝试着去描绘美时,我前所未有地深深体会到语言是多么的苍白无力。诚然,语言能创造其特有的魅力,但是,正如仅一张照片是无法捕捉老鹰那令人惊叹的敏锐,无法记录新星那令人畏惧的能量一样,语言也不能传递大自然中我们已领会的美丽与绚烂。我们的相册也只能给我们留下些一瞬的记忆。
  同行的朋友说:”没有开怀的大笑,但有美好的回忆!”因为旅途所至都是些清淡的文化,难免带着大家也会平静下来,几天的旅途没有大波折,却一直是舒服的.

一个老QQ的故事

尘封三年的qq号码,
快要忘记名字的群,
几个熟悉的陌生人,
半夜四点进入回忆。

以前高中的朋友一起时,常常对分别不屑一顾,这么年轻,分别算什么?
可是四五年过去了,真的不算什么么?
现在,
每当一个人坐在电脑前,夜夜无眠时;
每当看见有的人带着一副假笑面具时;
每当独自拎着背包,徜徉热闹喧嚣时;
每当打长途电话才能得到问候关心时;
每当吃饭点不再一呼百应吃集体饭时;
每当想起那首歌却怎么都唱不出声时。。。

散在天涯的朋友,你在哪里?老师说新加坡6小时内可飞到大多数地区,但我的六小时里能见到几个朋友?天涯,多恐怖的一个词,飞机哪都可以到,我们却可能一生都不再相见。

思念,五滴。。。

学会回头

少年时总想做个有性格的人,便十分倾慕那些铮铮铁汉,”说走咱就走”,无须回头。也总对那些”三步一回头,两眼双泪流”的缠绵别绪不屑一顾,走就走吧,何苦造作多事,不免好笑。在渐渐长大中仍为这份潇洒而自豪,包括跨了半个中国到上海读大学和来新加坡求学。
可有一天,我终于发现原来二十年来一直守候的竟是一个错误,而父母和其他人二十年来也一直在原谅这个错误。
记得来新加坡前,假期中,朋友难得相聚,来到上海,便邀一大群人东串西走,畅叙友情和人生,之后就是相约N年后。潇洒地扔下几句”不用送了”和充满豪情的”BYE-BYE”后一大群人便笑谈而去,也不见有几只手在挥,总觉得这便是年轻人的不拘小节,不落俗套的”大方”,不想回头。
我应该学着回头,当我面对现在的迷茫和困惑时,我是否应该回头看看?看看来时的路,再回首时迷茫应该已经消散了吧。成功时我要回头,想想成功的艰辛;失败时我也要回头,想想失败的沟壑。
我回头,因为我相信回头是一种幸福。

中国的麻烦!

中国房价在涨,股票在涨,粮油也在涨。。。

明天将是通货膨胀,后天就是经济倒退,大后天呢?

不容易

一切都不容易,因为每个人都不容易。--郁坦因

  这句话从哪个角度看都是对的,比如从科学的角度。
  自从宇宙大爆炸恒星出现,太大的恒星寿命太短,太小的恒星引力不够,注定了太阳是生命的孕育者。
  自从太阳出现后,九大行星开始出现,太近的热,太远的冷,不远不近的一些却又没有大气的保护,被太阳风破坏,注定了地球是生命的承载者。
  地球在五十亿年后出现了高等的生物,而这些生物却又感觉到在宇宙中的孤独。
  六十亿高等生物在地球上穿梭生活,两个人遇到一起的机会是三千六百亿分之一,因此几个人凑到一起就成了无穷小的巧合。
  每个人的巧合造就了不仅仅是一个人的人生,还在影响着其他人的命运。
  假如我高考考上了理想的学校,假如大学上了喜欢的学科,假如考研成功,我的生活将是另一翻模样。这些是好的假如。
  假如我工作没有退出,假如我雅思成绩单晚了三天寄到,假如我申请南大没有成功,那我就不会飞来新加坡。这些是不好的假如。
  人生就是无数的巧合的堆积,谁都不知道哪个巧合会让我们最终走到一个地方来。但是最后六十亿人中,只有我们这些人在这里相识。
  感谢命运,把你们送到我身边。

我能做的

在高中的时候,面对高考的压力,我们常说一句话”高考快来的时候,我们唯一能做的就是让它来吧。”这句话原本是美国的诗人Longfellow说的一句话:”总之,在下雨的时候,我们能够做的,便是让雨下吧。”
  夜的黑能沉淀一切,也沉淀了我的思绪。
  还是想起在高中时,每天被无边的题海浸的头脑不清,夜晚在学校自习时便会在老帅下班后偷偷跑到教学楼的天台上坐着,一坐往往就是两个小时,没有人打扰,没有车马喧嚣,干净的小城在夜里变的更加温顺,校园里的绿色按照灯将周围映的翠绿。
  每每九点半我的清梦会被三十秒的下课铃声打断一下,而后是楼下小卖部的人声鼎沸,几分钟后又归于宁静。此后到了十点校园里除了路灯以外,光全部都灭掉了。顶楼变的更加静谧,这时是看星星的好时候,黑洞洞的天顶是我最向往的地方。在这种海边的小城里,空气清洁的很,星星似乎也眨眼眨的不是很厉害。银河斜斜的挂在天顶,天马座在夏季变的格外清晰。老人们传下来看到慧星要倒霉的,看到流星要祈祷的,而这两种星在远一些的天空是不大好辩认的。在这种情况下作为人的本能,我们会想好的方面,那就是它们都是流星,都是带来好运的。
  有时我祈祷,让我下一次统考名列前矛吧;有时我祈祷,让我和我身边的朋友都一切顺利吧;有时我祈祷,让我成为神仙吧。想着想着就会想自己可以飞起来,等醒来时发现校园里已经空了,自行车钥匙还在教室,只好走回家。
  再后来高考的压力让许多人渐渐撑不住了,生病的,退学的,出国的让原本很挤的教室慢慢空出了两排座位。文科班一位同学后来也常来天台了,不过在天台上两个人都很默契,都不说话,先来的也不会回头打招呼,后来的也直接坐下。
  高中的同学能联系到的不多了,只有几个好朋友还在联络,然而也是世界各地分散着,有个同学在大二时QQ被盗,从此失去了联系,直至大学毕业他回了国才又相见,我们不禁感慨,现在我们的联系方便却又危险,一个不小心可能便是永别。于是此后每个同学出国,我都会把他所有的联系方式全部拿到,我出国前也将我所有的可能联系方式告诉了哥们和朋友。这也只是我能做到的了。
  新加坡并不适合我,我喜欢澳大利亚,喜欢加拿大,因为人少。我喜欢静,但却不喜欢孤独,朋友和亲人对我来说比自己还重要,因为我知道没有他们我会疯,那就不是我了。
  高中的我生性好动,什么可以破坏规矩我就做什么,班里惹乱子,校园里折腾都是我喜欢的事,但是到了大学,我好像变了一个人,马上变得规矩起来了,我知道这不是什么好事,但是却没有办法,因为没有人陪我一起坏规矩了。
  如果说在初中和高中的我是一块山石,有棱有角,那么在大学的我就是掉进急流中的石头,被水慢慢冲成了鹅卵石。在大学我所能做的也只有当一块鹅卵石。
  在初中时,我感觉自己被束缚的厉害;在高中时,感觉自己被压着不能喘气;在大学时,感觉自己突然被放松却失落。
  而现在,我感觉却不如大学时开心,大学又不如高中纯真,高中又不如初中安定,初中自然是不如童年时在大院子里玩耍了。而我所能做的还是只有听之任之,继续活下去而已。

逝者如斯夫

关于向前看与向后看的问题,始终说自己是向前看的,因为不想承认懦弱的向后看。

目前的生活远不如我曾经预的那么美好,以此类推,未来也不一定比现在好。所以向后看也许更能让人活的开心一些吧。

最近在网上看到一些大学的同学,听他们诉说一些工作的事情,发现这个世界真的不是人应该来的,那么低的工资,那么坏的老板,那么邪的同事。。。

庆幸我身边有几个好朋友,感恩,正是亲人和朋友我才会活着。

似水流年

想不起是似水流年还是流年似水了,很久很久以前(95年以前)在一个超市的货架上看到一本绿色的日记本,上面写着童体的似水流年(or流年似水),当时感觉很是沧凉,以为自己已经理解这句话,现在想来真是”少年不识愁滋味”。
  已经二十四了,人生过了近一半,可是还是像二十年前一样不名一文。
  二十岁前的我,一心想冲,激情是我的座佑铭,什么都要争第一,力求自己做到完美;而二十岁以后,进了大学,平庸成了我的爱好,只要不是最后就行。
  现在的我已经可以用”想当年”来讲故事了。。。
  然而不管我是怎么样的心境,时间却一直均速直线运动,将我们三维世界的生灵一点点抛弃,于是我感觉我大学四年的作法可能是对的,何必那么累呢?
  对我而言,最不喜欢的就是复杂的人际关系,加入了这些,我的生命就像是折磨。古语云既来之,则安之。生命给了什么,就去享受什么,享受的反义词是什么呢?durable, suffer?
  宗教是好事情,我不是个好信徒,因为我并不是时时刻刻相信,在难过无助时我会选择找个心理依靠,小时候是找爸妈,大了有了自己的主意便找了神佛来依靠。
  喜欢联想。似水流年会让我想起王菲的歌《红豆》”等到风景都看透,也许你会陪我看细水长流”,想起这首歌,我就会想起第一个寒假的回家之途,因为在列车上看着车外的雪,我哼的是这首歌。寒假过后,混过三个月就是暑假了,这个暑假我生了场大病,住了两个月的院,错过了军训和去楼兰的机会。军训又会带我想起高中的”四人帮”,现在已经天各四方了,偶尔联系一下,却又被时间空间冲淡了感觉。四个人初中分散于不同的学校,却因为奥林匹克竞赛相识,到了高中一起打架,一起逃课,一起被处分,却也惺惺相惜(用词不当)。想起他们又会想起高中学校院里的大石头,上面写着100年校庆,一百年只够我活两次的,真是不短。高中是我最快乐的时光,因为那才是真的无忧无虑。
  灯火阑珊,夜深人不静,坐在电脑前硬憋商业计划,苦哉?苦也是自己找的。可是相比工作我更喜欢读书,因为我不想累心。。。
  转眼来新加坡已经3月了,我的青春昏天暗地。。。

After Seeing Mr. Hollands Opus

这是在大学时写的影片评论,写过很多,投给自己英语俱乐部的内刊,现在读起来感觉英语真的是越来越不行了,当然我是指我的英语。
  今天的英语课我只是想描述一个简单的庄子的故事,结果说的乱七八糟,我简直不敢相信我已经沦落成这样了,what a shame.

 The movie Mr. Holland’s Opus covers thirty years in the life of Mr. Glenn Holland, a musician and composer who has a passion for composing his own music.

 In 1964, he comes to John F. Kennedy High School to teach music, hoping that he will have enough spare time to work on his own music while getting a steady paycheck to provide for his family. However, the teaching work doesn’t appear to be easy and his expectation of “spare time” becomes a daydream. Despite initially hating his job, Mr. Holland gradually finds that being a teacher of music has its rewards. Knowing that texts and assignments won’t arouse their interest in music, Mr. Holland tries an unique way to let his students know that “playing music is supposed to be fun—it’s about heart… not notes on a page.” He shares his passion for music with all his students, spends countless hours preparing lessons, and uses almost all his spare time to nurture the students who have special skills. His students respond to his passion and love music from the bottom of their heart. While his students make great progress on playing and understanding music, Holland’s son is found to be almost entirely deaf. What a tragedy Holland cannot draw his son into his musical world!Because of his strong sense of responsibility, he works very hard to instruct his students in music appreciation and thus straining the harmony of his family life. His wife and son wonder if Holland cares more about his students than about them. Through Holland’s struggling to communicate with his son, the gap between father and son disapears. However, there is a time that Holland doubts whether his life as a teacher is valuable. He has not achieve his initial goal— to compose a wonderfu musical masterpiece to leave his mark on the world. He feels somewhat lost. Finally, with the help of his students and his family, Mr. Holland learns that what he did has tremendous positive impact on his students. “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”Mr. Holland has a new understanding of success. And his students become his “opus”, his most successful work.

 I was deeply affected by this movie because in a society while all men are seeking fame and gain, Mr. Holland devotes himself to his career as a music teacher, to his students, his family and his true music. This movie is maked in praise of the value of each person’s effort to better the lives of others regardless of the individual sacrifice. The movie shows the triumph of human spirit which touches our hearts. Mr. Holland’s Opus is thought-provoking and brimming with valuable subjects such as a noble work ethic, the importance of arts in education, balance of life, and teachers’ tremendous positive impact on students.

 Although I feel a pity that in our country the importance of arts hasn’t been realized and we almost have no opportunity to learn playing a musical instrument, I’m very happy because I’ve met a few good teachers who gave me encouragement when I was depressed and gave me enlightment when I was puzzled. They treated me not only as their student but also a friend. I regained my lost courage and confidence because of them. I remember clearly the days when I was a junior high school student. I got poor marks in the final examination of grade two, seventy for mathematics and sixty-three for physics. I knew my physics must be awful because I don’t like it. I had never done the exercises the teacher assigned by myself. I had absolutely no in interest in it. However, I hadn’t expected such poor score for my mathematics since I always did well in it. I was quite dispressed at that time and this kind of depression and inferiority complex grew more serious since the school authorities decided to classify the students into two groups to give pertinent lessons on Saturday according to our score in the final examination. So, students who did well in the final examination were classified to “enhancer class”, of course I didn’t belong to this class. I endured tremendous pressure and felt helpless. My maths teacher Mr. Liu was a tall man of about fifty years old. Though he was somewhat serious, we all looked up to him because he’s always a patient and upright teacher. Each time when the examination was drawing near, he had never forgotten to remind me to be more carefull in the examination. He always said that I often made careless mistakes in the examination paper. He felt very surprised to see me in the “ordinary class”but said nothing. After class, he asked me if I want to go to “enhancer class” and I said”no” because I felt shameful to go to that class. Mr. Liu said that, “Well, then just stay in this class and treat it as a chance to consolidate your basic knowledge on maths. Don’t be depressed any more. Your experience in this class will do you good. Never lose your confidence .” I was deeply moved by his sincere words and decided to get back my confidence. Each week, he gave me the material used in “enhancer class” and assign some difficult exercises to me. Thus, I made a great progress and was more and more intersted in mathematics. Thereafter I always keep a good estate in my study. If the teacher didn’t encourage me at that time, I don’t know what the outcome would be. Perhaps I would just surrender myself to that frustration. I will never forget the help he gave me. Although I have never told him my gratitude to him, I believe he knows through my great happiness when I ran into him. I’m deeply convinced that teachers make a difference.