乱舞峰云

不容易

一切都不容易,因为每个人都不容易。--郁坦因

  这句话从哪个角度看都是对的,比如从科学的角度。
  自从宇宙大爆炸恒星出现,太大的恒星寿命太短,太小的恒星引力不够,注定了太阳是生命的孕育者。
  自从太阳出现后,九大行星开始出现,太近的热,太远的冷,不远不近的一些却又没有大气的保护,被太阳风破坏,注定了地球是生命的承载者。
  地球在五十亿年后出现了高等的生物,而这些生物却又感觉到在宇宙中的孤独。
  六十亿高等生物在地球上穿梭生活,两个人遇到一起的机会是三千六百亿分之一,因此几个人凑到一起就成了无穷小的巧合。
  每个人的巧合造就了不仅仅是一个人的人生,还在影响着其他人的命运。
  假如我高考考上了理想的学校,假如大学上了喜欢的学科,假如考研成功,我的生活将是另一翻模样。这些是好的假如。
  假如我工作没有退出,假如我雅思成绩单晚了三天寄到,假如我申请南大没有成功,那我就不会飞来新加坡。这些是不好的假如。
  人生就是无数的巧合的堆积,谁都不知道哪个巧合会让我们最终走到一个地方来。但是最后六十亿人中,只有我们这些人在这里相识。
  感谢命运,把你们送到我身边。

我能做的

在高中的时候,面对高考的压力,我们常说一句话”高考快来的时候,我们唯一能做的就是让它来吧。”这句话原本是美国的诗人Longfellow说的一句话:”总之,在下雨的时候,我们能够做的,便是让雨下吧。”
  夜的黑能沉淀一切,也沉淀了我的思绪。
  还是想起在高中时,每天被无边的题海浸的头脑不清,夜晚在学校自习时便会在老帅下班后偷偷跑到教学楼的天台上坐着,一坐往往就是两个小时,没有人打扰,没有车马喧嚣,干净的小城在夜里变的更加温顺,校园里的绿色按照灯将周围映的翠绿。
  每每九点半我的清梦会被三十秒的下课铃声打断一下,而后是楼下小卖部的人声鼎沸,几分钟后又归于宁静。此后到了十点校园里除了路灯以外,光全部都灭掉了。顶楼变的更加静谧,这时是看星星的好时候,黑洞洞的天顶是我最向往的地方。在这种海边的小城里,空气清洁的很,星星似乎也眨眼眨的不是很厉害。银河斜斜的挂在天顶,天马座在夏季变的格外清晰。老人们传下来看到慧星要倒霉的,看到流星要祈祷的,而这两种星在远一些的天空是不大好辩认的。在这种情况下作为人的本能,我们会想好的方面,那就是它们都是流星,都是带来好运的。
  有时我祈祷,让我下一次统考名列前矛吧;有时我祈祷,让我和我身边的朋友都一切顺利吧;有时我祈祷,让我成为神仙吧。想着想着就会想自己可以飞起来,等醒来时发现校园里已经空了,自行车钥匙还在教室,只好走回家。
  再后来高考的压力让许多人渐渐撑不住了,生病的,退学的,出国的让原本很挤的教室慢慢空出了两排座位。文科班一位同学后来也常来天台了,不过在天台上两个人都很默契,都不说话,先来的也不会回头打招呼,后来的也直接坐下。
  高中的同学能联系到的不多了,只有几个好朋友还在联络,然而也是世界各地分散着,有个同学在大二时QQ被盗,从此失去了联系,直至大学毕业他回了国才又相见,我们不禁感慨,现在我们的联系方便却又危险,一个不小心可能便是永别。于是此后每个同学出国,我都会把他所有的联系方式全部拿到,我出国前也将我所有的可能联系方式告诉了哥们和朋友。这也只是我能做到的了。
  新加坡并不适合我,我喜欢澳大利亚,喜欢加拿大,因为人少。我喜欢静,但却不喜欢孤独,朋友和亲人对我来说比自己还重要,因为我知道没有他们我会疯,那就不是我了。
  高中的我生性好动,什么可以破坏规矩我就做什么,班里惹乱子,校园里折腾都是我喜欢的事,但是到了大学,我好像变了一个人,马上变得规矩起来了,我知道这不是什么好事,但是却没有办法,因为没有人陪我一起坏规矩了。
  如果说在初中和高中的我是一块山石,有棱有角,那么在大学的我就是掉进急流中的石头,被水慢慢冲成了鹅卵石。在大学我所能做的也只有当一块鹅卵石。
  在初中时,我感觉自己被束缚的厉害;在高中时,感觉自己被压着不能喘气;在大学时,感觉自己突然被放松却失落。
  而现在,我感觉却不如大学时开心,大学又不如高中纯真,高中又不如初中安定,初中自然是不如童年时在大院子里玩耍了。而我所能做的还是只有听之任之,继续活下去而已。

愚每人

(请照虞美人的词来读)
商业计划何时了,
会计知多少,
九楼昨夜又刮风,
中国暑假不回无聊中。

哥们朋友应尤在,
只是地位改,
问我能有几多愁,
恰似一碗黄莲苦穿肠。

个性签名的多彩生活1

心坚强了,人就坚强了,享受着自己的生活……
虽然我们不能改变过去,但是我们能够改变未来~FIGHTING
新加坡购物节开始了^_^狂扫货了~~~~~
山雨欲来风满楼
如果我不小心流下一滴泪水,那是因为我不愿意忘记你是谁。
十年磨一剑,霜刃未曾试
如果你感觉生活欺骗了你,那就来新加坡吧
人生需要时刻重塑!!
此人除了牛B,没啥说的!
其实包容也是美德,天空其实那一天都很蓝。
夏天来了啊,可以看美女啦^_^
离回家还有四天时间,我却忙得没了感觉。
享受现在,不淋漓尽致不痛快!
世界上最远的距离,是鱼与飞鸟的跟离,一个在天,一个却深潜海底……
孤单是一个人的狂欢,狂欢是一群人的孤单

不同的签名背后是一个人的感悟,有的大家知道,有的只有一个人知道,纯记录。。。

逝者如斯夫

关于向前看与向后看的问题,始终说自己是向前看的,因为不想承认懦弱的向后看。

目前的生活远不如我曾经预的那么美好,以此类推,未来也不一定比现在好。所以向后看也许更能让人活的开心一些吧。

最近在网上看到一些大学的同学,听他们诉说一些工作的事情,发现这个世界真的不是人应该来的,那么低的工资,那么坏的老板,那么邪的同事。。。

庆幸我身边有几个好朋友,感恩,正是亲人和朋友我才会活着。

似水流年

想不起是似水流年还是流年似水了,很久很久以前(95年以前)在一个超市的货架上看到一本绿色的日记本,上面写着童体的似水流年(or流年似水),当时感觉很是沧凉,以为自己已经理解这句话,现在想来真是”少年不识愁滋味”。
  已经二十四了,人生过了近一半,可是还是像二十年前一样不名一文。
  二十岁前的我,一心想冲,激情是我的座佑铭,什么都要争第一,力求自己做到完美;而二十岁以后,进了大学,平庸成了我的爱好,只要不是最后就行。
  现在的我已经可以用”想当年”来讲故事了。。。
  然而不管我是怎么样的心境,时间却一直均速直线运动,将我们三维世界的生灵一点点抛弃,于是我感觉我大学四年的作法可能是对的,何必那么累呢?
  对我而言,最不喜欢的就是复杂的人际关系,加入了这些,我的生命就像是折磨。古语云既来之,则安之。生命给了什么,就去享受什么,享受的反义词是什么呢?durable, suffer?
  宗教是好事情,我不是个好信徒,因为我并不是时时刻刻相信,在难过无助时我会选择找个心理依靠,小时候是找爸妈,大了有了自己的主意便找了神佛来依靠。
  喜欢联想。似水流年会让我想起王菲的歌《红豆》”等到风景都看透,也许你会陪我看细水长流”,想起这首歌,我就会想起第一个寒假的回家之途,因为在列车上看着车外的雪,我哼的是这首歌。寒假过后,混过三个月就是暑假了,这个暑假我生了场大病,住了两个月的院,错过了军训和去楼兰的机会。军训又会带我想起高中的”四人帮”,现在已经天各四方了,偶尔联系一下,却又被时间空间冲淡了感觉。四个人初中分散于不同的学校,却因为奥林匹克竞赛相识,到了高中一起打架,一起逃课,一起被处分,却也惺惺相惜(用词不当)。想起他们又会想起高中学校院里的大石头,上面写着100年校庆,一百年只够我活两次的,真是不短。高中是我最快乐的时光,因为那才是真的无忧无虑。
  灯火阑珊,夜深人不静,坐在电脑前硬憋商业计划,苦哉?苦也是自己找的。可是相比工作我更喜欢读书,因为我不想累心。。。
  转眼来新加坡已经3月了,我的青春昏天暗地。。。

翻译竞赛的文章--beauty

Judging from the scientists I know, including Eva and Ruth, and those whom I’ve read about, you can’t pursue the laws of nature very long without bumping into beauty. “I don’t know if it’s the same beauty you see in the sunset,” a friend tells me, “but it feels the same.” This friend is a physicist, who has spent a long career deciphering what must be happening in the interior of stars. He recalls for me this thrill on grasping for the first time Dirac’s equations describing quantum mechanics, or those of Einstein describing relativity. “They’re so beautiful,” he says, “you can see immediately they have to be true. Or at least on the way toward truth.” I ask him what makes a theory beautiful, and he replies, “Simplicity, symmetry, elegance, and power.”

 Why nature should conform to theories we find beautiful is far from obvious. The most incomprehensible thing about the universe, as Einstein said, is that it’s comprehensible. How unlikely, that a short-lived biped on a two-bit planet should be able to gauge the speed of light, lay bare the structure of an atom, or calculate the gravitational tug of a black hole. We’re a long way from understanding everything, but we do understand a great deal about how nature behaves. Generation after generation, we puzzle out formulas, test them, and find, to an astonishing degree, that nature agrees. An architect draws designs on flimsy paper, and her buildings stand up through earthquakes. We launch a satellite into orbit and use it to bounce messages from continent to continent. The machine on which I write these words embodies hundreds of insights into the workings of the material world, insights that are confirmed by every burst of letters on the screen, and I stare at that screen through lenses that obey the laws of optics first worked out in detail by Isaac Newton.

 By discerning patterns in the universe, Newton believed, he was tracing the hand of God. Scientists in our day have largely abandoned the notion of a Creator as an unnecessary hypothesis, or at least an untestable one. While they share Newton’s faith that the universe is ruled everywhere by a coherent set of rules, they cannot say, as scientists, how these particular rules came to govern things. You can do science without believing in a divine Legislator, but not without believing in laws.

 I spent my teenage years scrambling up the mountain of mathematics. Midway up the slope, however, I staggered to a halt, gasping in the rarefied air, well before I reached the heights where the equations of Einstein and Dirac would have made sense. Nowadays I add, subtract, multiply, and do long division when no calculator is handy, and I can do algebra and geometry and even trigonometry in a pinch, but that is about all that I’ve kept from the language of numbers. Still, I remember glimpsing patterns in mathematics that seemed as bold and beautiful as a skyful of stars.

 I’m never more aware of the limitations of language than when I try to describe beauty. Language can create its own loveliness, of course, but it cannot deliver to us the radiance we apprehend in the world, any more than a photograph can capture the stunning swiftness of a hawk or the withering power of a supernova. Eva’s wedding album holds only a faint glimmer of the wedding itself. All that pictures or words can do is gesture beyond themselves toward the fleeting glory that stirs our hearts. So I keep gesturing.

 ”All nature is meant to make us think of paradise,” Thomas Merton observed. Because the Creation puts on a nonstop show, beauty is free and inexhaustible, but we need training in order to perceive more than the most obvious kinds. Even 15 billion years or so after the Big Bang, echoes of that event still linger in the form of background radiation, only a few degrees above absolute zero. Lust so, I believe, the experience of beauty is an echo of the order and power that permeate the universe. To measure background radiation, we need subtle instruments; to measure beauty, we need alert intelligence and our five keen senses.

 Anyone with eyes can take delight in a face or a flower. You need training, however, to perceive the beauty in mathematics or physics or chess, in the architecture of a tree, the design of a bird’s wing, or the shiver of breath through a flute. For most of human history, the training has come from elders who taught the young how to pay attention. By paying attention, we learn to savor all sorts of patterns, from quantum mechanics to patchwork quilts. This predilection brings with it a clear evolutionary advantage, for the ability to recognize patterns helped our ancestors to select mates, find food, avoid predators. But the same advantage would apply to all species, and yet we alone compose symphonies and crossword puzzles, carve stone into statues, map time and space.

 Have we merely carried our animal need for shrewd perceptions to an absurd extreme? Or have we stumbled onto a deep congruence between the structure of our minds and the structure of the universe?

 I am persuaded the latter is true. I am convinced there’s more to beauty than biology, more than cultural convention. It flows around and through us in such abundance, and in such myriad forms, as to exceed by a wide margin any mere evolutionary need. Which is not to say that beauty has nothing to do with survival: I think it has everything to do with survival. Beauty feeds us from the same source that created us. It reminds us of the shaping power that reaches through the flower stem and through our own hands. It restores our faith in the generosity of nature. By giving us a taste of the kinship between our own small minds and the great Mind of the Cosmos, beauty reassures us that we are exactly and wonderfully made for life on this glorious planet, in this magnificent universe. I find in that affinity a profound source of meaning and hope. A universe so prodigal of beauty may actually need us to notice and respond, may need our sharp eyes and brimming hearts and teeming minds, in order to close the circuit of Creation.

After Seeing Mr. Hollands Opus

这是在大学时写的影片评论,写过很多,投给自己英语俱乐部的内刊,现在读起来感觉英语真的是越来越不行了,当然我是指我的英语。
  今天的英语课我只是想描述一个简单的庄子的故事,结果说的乱七八糟,我简直不敢相信我已经沦落成这样了,what a shame.

 The movie Mr. Holland’s Opus covers thirty years in the life of Mr. Glenn Holland, a musician and composer who has a passion for composing his own music.

 In 1964, he comes to John F. Kennedy High School to teach music, hoping that he will have enough spare time to work on his own music while getting a steady paycheck to provide for his family. However, the teaching work doesn’t appear to be easy and his expectation of “spare time” becomes a daydream. Despite initially hating his job, Mr. Holland gradually finds that being a teacher of music has its rewards. Knowing that texts and assignments won’t arouse their interest in music, Mr. Holland tries an unique way to let his students know that “playing music is supposed to be fun—it’s about heart… not notes on a page.” He shares his passion for music with all his students, spends countless hours preparing lessons, and uses almost all his spare time to nurture the students who have special skills. His students respond to his passion and love music from the bottom of their heart. While his students make great progress on playing and understanding music, Holland’s son is found to be almost entirely deaf. What a tragedy Holland cannot draw his son into his musical world!Because of his strong sense of responsibility, he works very hard to instruct his students in music appreciation and thus straining the harmony of his family life. His wife and son wonder if Holland cares more about his students than about them. Through Holland’s struggling to communicate with his son, the gap between father and son disapears. However, there is a time that Holland doubts whether his life as a teacher is valuable. He has not achieve his initial goal— to compose a wonderfu musical masterpiece to leave his mark on the world. He feels somewhat lost. Finally, with the help of his students and his family, Mr. Holland learns that what he did has tremendous positive impact on his students. “Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.”Mr. Holland has a new understanding of success. And his students become his “opus”, his most successful work.

 I was deeply affected by this movie because in a society while all men are seeking fame and gain, Mr. Holland devotes himself to his career as a music teacher, to his students, his family and his true music. This movie is maked in praise of the value of each person’s effort to better the lives of others regardless of the individual sacrifice. The movie shows the triumph of human spirit which touches our hearts. Mr. Holland’s Opus is thought-provoking and brimming with valuable subjects such as a noble work ethic, the importance of arts in education, balance of life, and teachers’ tremendous positive impact on students.

 Although I feel a pity that in our country the importance of arts hasn’t been realized and we almost have no opportunity to learn playing a musical instrument, I’m very happy because I’ve met a few good teachers who gave me encouragement when I was depressed and gave me enlightment when I was puzzled. They treated me not only as their student but also a friend. I regained my lost courage and confidence because of them. I remember clearly the days when I was a junior high school student. I got poor marks in the final examination of grade two, seventy for mathematics and sixty-three for physics. I knew my physics must be awful because I don’t like it. I had never done the exercises the teacher assigned by myself. I had absolutely no in interest in it. However, I hadn’t expected such poor score for my mathematics since I always did well in it. I was quite dispressed at that time and this kind of depression and inferiority complex grew more serious since the school authorities decided to classify the students into two groups to give pertinent lessons on Saturday according to our score in the final examination. So, students who did well in the final examination were classified to “enhancer class”, of course I didn’t belong to this class. I endured tremendous pressure and felt helpless. My maths teacher Mr. Liu was a tall man of about fifty years old. Though he was somewhat serious, we all looked up to him because he’s always a patient and upright teacher. Each time when the examination was drawing near, he had never forgotten to remind me to be more carefull in the examination. He always said that I often made careless mistakes in the examination paper. He felt very surprised to see me in the “ordinary class”but said nothing. After class, he asked me if I want to go to “enhancer class” and I said”no” because I felt shameful to go to that class. Mr. Liu said that, “Well, then just stay in this class and treat it as a chance to consolidate your basic knowledge on maths. Don’t be depressed any more. Your experience in this class will do you good. Never lose your confidence .” I was deeply moved by his sincere words and decided to get back my confidence. Each week, he gave me the material used in “enhancer class” and assign some difficult exercises to me. Thus, I made a great progress and was more and more intersted in mathematics. Thereafter I always keep a good estate in my study. If the teacher didn’t encourage me at that time, I don’t know what the outcome would be. Perhaps I would just surrender myself to that frustration. I will never forget the help he gave me. Although I have never told him my gratitude to him, I believe he knows through my great happiness when I ran into him. I’m deeply convinced that teachers make a difference.

活着真累

翻起以前写过的东西,发现自己的文笔不知落了多少,高中时写的东西现在读读感觉像诗,而现在写的被人说成是流水帐,我在退化,中文在退,英文在退,才思在退,记忆在退,一切在退。。。
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  活着真累,这是所有都市人的共同的心声。
  累在哪里,累在心里而不是肉体。
  当你因为喜悦,快乐着自己的快乐,需要别人跟你共同分享的时候,你茫然回顾,攘攘人流却找不到可以分享的人,你是否觉得悲哀。
  当你因为悲哀,痛苦着自己的痛苦的时候,你很想找人与你共同分担,你寻寻觅觅,熙熙人群却找不到可以分担的人,你是否觉得无助。
  当你如鲠在喉,不吐不快的时候,你把自己内心的隐秘告诉你的朋友,你千叮咛万嘱咐,千万不要说与他人听。但当你一觉醒来,你的故事已经成了街谈巷议的焦点,你是否觉得很愤怒。  当你付出了辛勤的汗水,但你的付出却没能换回应有的回报,甚至得不到一句肯定的话语,你是否感觉到命运的不公平,你是否觉得很无奈。
  在不愉快的事情发生后,你往往需要寻找一个倾诉的对象,一个发泄的出口。这时的人们往往只在意自己的痛苦,渴望在与别人的交流中,减轻或者缓解那种痛。那时的你非常渴望得到别人的理解和帮助,哪怕陪着洒几滴同情的泪水。
  在这时,我们往往没有时间思考:我还拥有什么,我曾经得到过什么,而是去攀比别人比自己优越什么。在不断的攀比追逐中,也就失去了自己拥有的财富。尽管那财富在当时看来是多么的微不足道啊,但在别人的眼里,又是多么的珍贵呀。
  人们所受的教育,严重制约着自己的思想意识,使自己按照别人的标准来过自己的生活。人们在挥霍着自己的青春,去追求着感官的享受;人们在丧失着健康,去追求自己认为重要的财富;人们在孩子身上实现着自己没有实现的人生理想,打造着世界超人而不是性格健全的儿童;人们不再珍惜患难之中建立起来的爱情,而去追逐什么梦中的情人,人们也不再珍惜人间最可贵的感情――友谊,不去同情弱者,不去帮助需要帮助的人,而是任意的兜售着别人的痛苦,在这种叫卖声中寻求一种平衡,一种满足。
  别人坏了比自己好了还要高兴。有一个笑话可以很好的阐释人们的这个畸形心理。
  一位仙人要满足一名男子的一个愿望,条件是:他得到一份,他的邻居就要得到两份。这个男子想,如果我得到一块金子,我的邻居就要得到两块;如果我得到一间房子,我的邻居就会得到两间,我怎么忍受的了。最后他狠了狠心,一咬牙,一跺脚,闭上眼睛说,仙人,请你弄瞎我一只眼睛吧。
  人们在不断的追逐中,丧失了纯真,善良,诚实,宽容等很多美好的品质,变得世故,庸俗,虚伪,自私。难怪《只要你过得比我好》那首歌唱红了全中国,原来人们所期望的与自己在现实中表现的正好相反。
  希望别人理解自己,而自己却不想花费时间去理解别人;
  希望别人对自己真诚,而自己却从不想对别人真诚;
  希望别人帮助自己,而自己却从不想主动去帮助别人。
  人们互相提防着,猜忌着,践踏着,小心翼翼,如履薄冰。
  对别人的”关心”,远胜过对自己心灵的拷问,人们不再追求生活中那些美好的东西。
  人性的恶,在欲望的陷阱里膨胀到无限。
  当有一天,大人们那张写满沧桑世俗的脸,面对着孩子那天真无邪的笑容,面对着孩子纯真透明的询问,是否感觉到自己在不断的追求当中,丢失了最最珍贵的东西,那是人性的善。
  人们呼唤着真诚,呼唤着理解,呼唤着善的回归。
  这条回归之路虽然漫漫,但却不乏追求者的脚印。
=================================
  如果没有记错的话,这还应该是用裕兴学习机打出来的,当时多么喜欢写排比句啊,现在呢?没有时间,还是没有写排比的能力了?不得而知!

无间道

不我不愿意结束我还没有结束
无止境的旅途
看着我没停下的脚步已经忘了身在何处
谁能改变人生的长度
谁知道永恒有多么恐怖
谁了解生存往往比命运还残酷
只是没有人愿意认输
我们都在不断赶路忘记了出路
在失望中追求偶尔的满足
我们都在梦中解脱清醒的苦
流浪在灯火阑珊处
去不到终点回到原点
享受那走不完的路

谁能改变人生的长度
谁知道永恒有多么恐怖
谁了解生存往往比命运还残酷
只是没有人愿意认输
我们都在不断赶路忘记了出路
在失望中追求偶尔的满足
我们都在梦中解脱清醒的苦
流浪在灯火阑珊处
去不到终点回到原点
享受那走不完的路

一路上演出难得糊涂
一路上回顾难得麻木
在这条亲密无间的路
让我想你你想我怎么会孤独
我们都在不断赶路忘记了出路
在失望中追求偶尔的满足
我们都在梦中解脱清醒的苦
流浪在灯火阑珊处
既然没终点回到原点
我想我们都不不在乎

  人生本来就该如行云流水,无所谓何为起点,何为终点,既不能强求过分,也不能放任自流,所需的只是流动且有方向有原则。无间本出于《地藏经》,讲述的是地狱中的无间地狱,无间者,既包括时间的无间断,也包括空间的无间隔,道则是自然之法,无间道即是佛道两家之合集,凡事皆有因有果,何为因何为果无始无终,顺其自然吧。